Kids only need one mom!!

This post is not about homosexuality, it is not even about moms. Instead it is about dads being dads.

I heard a statistic about the amount of time dads spend with there kids on a daily basis. Of course the statistic was used to show how dads in our society are horible at being parents. Time magazine published an article basically taking a shot at dads as well. According to this article human dads stink because they don't spend 90% of there time with the kids. If you think I am exagerating read the article. You might also want to notice how many of the researchers mentioned are male. All the research and statistics in the world will not help people to understand what being a dad is all about.

Being a dad is a lot more than spending time with the kids. Just think if dads spent 90% of their time with the kids someone else would have to go out and find a way to pay the bills. I guess if we did that then a bunch of male researches could get together and blast moms for not spending more time with the kids. Frankly I am sick of the immunization of the role of fatherhood.

I don't have the dad thing figured out, I am learning on the job. I mess up on a regular basis. Sometimes I am too nurturing (that is rarely the case, but it does occasionally happen), more often I am not nurturing enough. Still if both mom and dad were always comforting and never helped their kids develop things like toughness then we would end up with a bunch of really confused, wimpy, and even sissy kids. Don't get me wrong there is a balance, but the balance is different for mom and it should be. Real men cry, but they cry different than women and about different things. Real men may be "secure" in their "feminine" side, but I am more concerned about them being secure in their manly side. I honestly don't care if they are comfortable wearing pink or crying in public.

A good dad will spend time with the kids, but I am not sure how much. A good dad will more importantly show his kids what it is to have priorities right. Sometimes that may mean spending time doing things that take him away from the family. A good dad will not try to be mom. He will realize that mom can't teach some lessons to the kids as well as dad. He will also realize the reverse is true. Moms are not generally good at teaching their kids to be tough, they need help from dad. Moms may be in a better position to teach love and compassion, but they are probably not the best ones to teach their kids how to be appropriately competitive.

Dads, be a dad, and be a good one, but don't try to be mom!!